...you should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because,
when you do, it becomes a tendency
and it happens over and over again.
You must practice staying strong, instead.
Eat. Pray. Love
I have come to realize that I live in fear.
I seriously worry everyday about something...anything.
This really is NOT healthy.
I even dream about my fears.
I have recently had a couple earthquake dreams,
and last night... about a flood.
I obviously work in the wrong profession.
And, I haven't dealt with a "disaster" persay,
and yet I have psyched myself out of it all.
Note to self: Disasters aren't your calling.
Maybe I should be a dog groomer.
Or a hairstylist. -eh, scratch that one-
I hear people need surrogate mothers. I could do that one.
Is it too early to sell the body to science for research?
They'll get a kick out of this piece of work...
Today was my annual Lupus walk.
And there was a great turn out.
However, my optimism of the whole thing was well below par.
I wanted to be home.
Or at my nieces baptism.
Anywhere but the park, in the rain, freezing.
I can't even say I got a lousy t-shirt!
Yet again, another fear for the week popped up.
I should have been gracious and optimistic about today.
I had a lot of love and support there with me.
(and a ton of donations... thank you everyone)
I just had this fear that it makes me weak.
Look week, feel week, smell weak.
I didn't want to go and be reminded of weakness.
But, as I think of it more, it wasn't weakness.
It's a strength that I neglect to see or embrace.
There are so many people that live with disease, cancer, pain.
And they are some of the strongest people I've known.
I envy their strength at times.
So, why should I fear myself?!
What a ridiculous notion.
I can be strong. I can be optimistic.Damn it.
Is there a twelve step program for this!?
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